Look for Love, but Commit on Money

This title just sounds absolutely terrible doesn’t it? First of all, should “love” and “money” even be in the same sentence? It just doesn’t seem right, and certainly isn’t romantic, but it is, in fact, realistic. Love is powerful, but many marriages end because of money, so it is important to yes, fall in love, but be certain that you are on the same page when it comes to money, and then commit to a lifestyle that you will both be happy with.

college girlfriend and money

It’s Honestly Hard to Tell at First

When you’re in college, it really is hard to tell who is a spender and who is a saver because virtually everyone is broke! If you had $100 in your account and I had $5 in my account, would you automatically say that I must be a spender because I have less money than you? Of course not. The difference just isn’t large enough to make that determination.

This is the same problem students come across when they find their “soul mate” in college. The expectations are quite little because the girl knows that the guy has hardly any money, and the guy knows the same thing about the girl, so they are just content to have picnics in the park or go for a walk downtown. Their time together is exciting and magical – they just can’t wait to graduate and find some jobs so that they can get married.

The Spending Patterns Change

Now that you both have jobs and are pulling in nearly $100,000 a year, the spending patterns are really starting to change. You might be a saver by nature and you would like to take the extra money and put it away in savings for an emergency or a future opportunity. However, there is a strange thing going on. Even though you both are earning more money than ever before, there are no savings. All that money that comes in each month is just vanishing by the time the month is over. It turns out that your spouse is a spender.

Learn About Yourselves Before Making That Big Commitment

Again, it is not romantic to talk about money, but boy is it ever important! Ask your special someone what they would do if they had $20,000 dumped into their account today. If they immediately start rattling off something about fancy cars and expensive restaurants, then you are no doubt in a relationship with a spender. If, however, they sit there quietly for a moment and ponder the situation, and then begin to speak of a savings and investments for the future, then you have your hands on a saver and long-term thinker.

If you believe that it is important to save money and invest for your future retirement, then you had better be with someone that has the same money values (and then commit to those). If your money values do not align with your future spouse, then there will be some rocky terrain ahead – be ready.

Feel free to talk about money with your significant other and agree on your future plans together. If you have a love for one another and can agree on the major values of life, then your relationship will likely grow stronger and stronger, and that is a beautiful thing.

Are you ready to discuss money with your significant other?


Look for Love, but Commit on Money — 3 Comments

  1. We have been discussing our financial situation with each other and right now we’re kind of on the same track. I am focused on paying off debt while hes focused on saving money for a house. We used to spend a lot of money on happy hours, dinners, travel but now we are both conscious of the amount of any activities we do – which helps a lot for our financial goals.

  2. I think it’s cool how college puts everyone in a similar playing field. Everybody’s taking classes and broke. So you make your friends and date based off of shared interests. Later on in life, people judge each other a lot more by wealth instead of just on shared interests. Funny how that is.

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